The lunchtime fridge-raider. The stapler crook. The golden parachuter. Cubicle farms are full of enemy combatants begging to be taken out. Your guide: toy designer John Austin, who spent years miniaturizing firepower for G.I. Joe and Star Wars figurines. In MiniWeapons of Mass Destruction, he describes how to cobble together a small-scale arsenal from supply-closet goodies. Here are a few of his favorite workplace munitions (deploy with caution). Ready, aim … avenge!
Range: 20 feet
Fasten a 6-inch length of speaker wire to a mousetrap bar and staple the other end to the bottom of the trap so the bar can close only halfway. Use tape to create an ammo basket on top of the bar, and load it with gumballs or other candies. Tie one end of your trip wire to the cheese trigger and the other end to something stationary. Lie in wait.
Range: Up to 30 feet
Remove the plunger of a mechanical pencil, snip off its pointy end, and tape a rubber band over the eraser. Cut off the tip of the pencil’s housing. Slide the plunger back inside. Tape the rubber band’s loose end to the housing, eliminating slack. Load copper BBs (or Nerds), pull back the plunger, and let ‘er rip.
Range: Up to 40 feet
Snip a heavy rubber band and knot the ends through the top and bottom punch holes of a plastic ruler. Deconstruct a ballpoint. Load the inner pen through the center hole, pull it back with the elastic, and release.
Range: 20 feet
Cover one end of a paper-towel tube with duct tape. Cut a hole in the tape and insert a barbecue lighter. Tape on a ruler for reinforcement. Spritz flammable hair spray inside; let it settle. Load a Ping-Pong ball and pull the lighter trigger. Fireworks!
Illustrations: 2009 John Austin
One of the things you never hear about in corporate dystopia stories is how office supplies are going to be weaponized. Luckily, some gun geeks have rectified this problem, by inventing a $500 automatic weapon that shoots rubber bands.
According to the seller:
The rubber band gun can hold over 100 rubber bands and shoots 1 at a time as fast as you can crank it. The gun comes off of the base so you can hold it when you shoot or just keep it on the base and shoot. As you can see from the pictures that it is not a kids rubber band gun.
This gun is machined from solid billet aluminum then powder coated for color and finish durability. It shoots standard office rubber bands that can be bought at Wal-Mart (UNV-00164) Size 64 which are safe enough for point-blank shooting people (which will happen). Longer barrels can be made per your request that can shoot more powerful rubber bands. Gun weighs 15-20 lbs fully loaded and ready to go.
And they’ve even got a cheesy video, complete with music you’ll want to crank down.
- In Praise of Boredom (lesswrong.com)
- Badass LEGO Guns (oreilly.com)
- Deal with office politics Terminator-style, with this rubber band machine gun [Holy Crap Wtf] (io9.com)